What do you do when your friend calls you crying in desprite need of help? What if the reason why she is all upset and crying is because she is in a terrible financial state?
I have a friend that is facing the consequences to a whole mess of things. Back this fall she was behind on her power bill. Her boyfriend/baby's daddy was unemployed while she was working her ass off to try and pay ALL the bills with a little bitty paycheck (including daycare for her 18 mo daughter). She couldn't get government assistance because she made barely too much money even though her bf/bd was disabled at the time and could not work. In their despiration, her bf/bd stole his grandmother's info, opened a credit card with her info and paid the power bill without my friend's knowledge. She had NO IDEA he was commiting credit card fraud (I still can't believe he did this to his grandmother! that's blood not water!)
He has fleed to another state to avoid getting picked up for the fraud and credit card company has told the power company and now that said amount is due now. The power company is turning off the power tomorrow if she doesn't come up with $350 plus past due and a bad check fee.
I didn't know what to tell her except write a letter or call the power guys and see if they would give her an extension. Well she showed her ass (after many of desprite pleas to the supervisor down there and their repetitive no's she got angry and let her temper get the better of her) down at the payment center before she called and they wouldn't help her either. It is set in stone that they are going to turn her power off tomorrow unless she pays the $350!
She is down. So very down. She has just started a waitressing gig a week ago. I just don't know what to tell her or how I can help her other than listen and try to offer some advice.
I want to help her but I can't afford to give her money right now. I'm still trying to keep things afloat myself. Especially since the new car purchase. You know?
What would you do? Advice Please!!!!!
Ouch! That sucks badly! You definitely do not have room to help her financially. And I understand how guilty you feel being unable to help, even though it's not your fault. The sad thing is, even though he did it without her knowing, she is still responsible. Just keep trying to help her out emotionally. Offer something you can afford, like maybe fixing them dinner one night? But don't feel bad about not being able to give more.
ReplyDeletedo they have energy assistance in your area? and i know each state does day care assistance because i used to be a day care provider. if she isnt married to him she should be able to get all kinds of help she just has to find it look in the right spots i would think. if you cant help her financially you may be able to hunt down a few places that would. that would be my advice. because when we or i should say i get in tight spots like this i dont always do my best thinking. or gathering information to dig my way out.
ReplyDeleteone of the things i learned ages ago was always keep everything in your name only. that way when the stuff hits the fan you can deal with it yourself and not have anyone looking at you saying cant help you its not yours. hope this helps you out my heart goes out to both of you. so do my prayers
I am sorry things suck for her and you by proxy. Accept what you can and can not do for her.
ReplyDeleteHard to say it and harder to act on it but people get themself into situations knowingly. She is making bad choices and you do not need to do the same. Do NOT help her out financially and she will hopefully learn to make some better choices in life. If you don't believe it, think for a while how she choose to react at the power company.......
ReplyDeletesigh.... i feel for you & for your friend, i know what it's like to borrow from paul to pay peter... and my Mom is NOTORIOUSLY behind & working three jobs, while my pop sits on his ass and gets his pension & social security & doesnt offer any kinda help... makes me crazy... BUT you can only do what you can do... listening, consoling, offering suggestions & being the good friend...
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