I had originally written that I would fill ya'll in on what crazy things have been happening in the random world of Lesleyd. As hard as it is for me to publicly say it I shall....
IF you recall a month or two ago, I told ya'll that I was no longer referring to my husband as DH but instead Tom. There is a reason for it. We have had lots of troubles in the past 6-8 months. These troubles have caused a quite deal of stress for me, to the point that my mind can not be freed from it. I've tried antidepressants, alcohol, no alcohol, meditation, knitting like a fiend (only to unravel it because it wasn't turning out right) and I can't escape it.
He has been spending time with other women. He spends his money on other people instead of giving it toward bills, he is unaffectionate (doesn't want any affection from me either)and hasn't said I love you since March. Until last week when I dropped the bomb on him.
Here's the bomb. I have begun the steps to getting a divorce. He hasn't had the papers served yet but the lawyer has been paid, and papers are with the server.
For the past week, he has been staying with one of the girls that he's been spending his nights with over the past 3 months.
Although, I'm taking this step to gain spirit and peace it is still hard as hell and has been the toughest chapter to close. We've been a couple for 10 years, married 8 and have a beautiful 7 year old together. I hate that it has come to this. I wish we could live happily ever after but it is impossible. The 8 years married have been the hardest, saddest years of my life that has left me stunted. I've not grown as person from being with him in fact I feel I've regressed to a shell at times. From here on I shall share little tidbits about it. In fact I have another blog that is private that I've blogged about these feelings and all around sadness that he's caused just within the past year. It deserves its own place to hang. I prefer this blog to be happy. I love sharing good news instead of news that is viewed sad or bad.
XOXOXO
Lesley
I understand what your going through. (I have gone through it a few times) I am so sorry that this has happened to such a great person and I wish you lots of peace and happiness in the future.
ReplyDeleteDont be too hard on yourself. Just keep on being the best mom that you can be and continue to work on yourself. I am really proud that you are making the decision to rid him of your life. He sounds very toxic and both you and your daughter dont deserve to have to deal with that.
Lots of hugs and love from Arkansas...
You are not alone! And I am proud that you are doing what is right for you and your daughter. It's never an easy choice but you are making steps towards happiness.
ReplyDeleteLesley, I am so sorry. I know that after everything is said and done this will be one of the best decisions for you and and your angel. I'm very sorry you have to go through all of this but it will be better in the end. I'm here if you need anything or if you want to come over and knit sometime!!! Love you
ReplyDeleteYou are very strong and courageous to stand up for yourself and accept nothing less than what you deserve.
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you!
It is always hard to close an old chapter and open a new one. I have unfortunately done this a few times. Take this time to love yourself and your daughter.
ReplyDeleteHugs