Accomplished and feeling good!

Knitting Update first~
On the needles: Bad Ju-Ju is still there. I've knitted it a little. I've frogged it after about 40 rounds and started over.

Also...
I'm making more head wraps. I'm stocking them up for next year

Coachella I haven't even cast it on yet. I'm thinking of taking my dear friend ShadKitty's advice and knit Tank Girl again. I do believe I have a better yarn for it than the old cheap stuff. :-)

Life update:
It has been a very draining weekend. I've had alot go on. I did get some things accomplished around the house. I found where the Ex parks his car (and sort of where he hangs his hat) and dropped off the last of his things. He refused to tell me anything. Where he is living, when he was coming to get his things, after countless number of messages with his GF and with his work. I said F*** it and finally got it all together I went on a search for his car. My mom helped me tremendously. I love her so much. It isn't hard to miss. In fact is stands out like a sore thumb. I had to give him his things. It was the only way I could move forward. Even if I was to just throw it in my shed and let it rot, that's all it would do. Rot there because I knew he would never pick it up and emotionally it stood as me hanging on to him. Also he is not allowed here without my presence again.
As I was unloading his things he was walking her dog and saw me unloading all of his things on to his car. He glared at me then walked away. The little dog following too.
I still have some anger. But it is almost gone. The f-ed up thing is that I accepted the fact that he was moving in with a different girl earlier. I knew that the guy absolutely couldn't go without female help. That's just him.
But that's okay. I forgive him for being himself.
I still won't let him take sym around this little girl. The last thing Sym needs to see is daddy all over a girl that could be her big sister.
That's just gross and sets a bad example for her.
I got a new desk for my computer since Mom & I returned his to him. Sym & I put the new one up together. She misses her daddy but I'm not caving. He can just suck it up. WE made an agreement. I'm sticking to that. He can have supervised visits at our convenience.

We went to church this morning. In Sunday school they were talking about the things that make us angry and what God can do to help you control that. I've realized that I've allowed my anger at him to distract me from what is most important, Sym & me. I'm not a bible beater by any means but I was one once in a distant past. I remembered the decisions I made, the good things, good things that were going on inside of me. I remember the positive impact it had on my life during that time. I'm tempted to go back to my home church next Sunday. But I already have received ALOT today from the church down the road! I'm actually about to go grab the old Bible and look up the verses that were quoted today. It has helped. This whole weekend has helped me. I'm still sad a little about the whole thing, but the distance is actually helping me out tremendously.

I have felt so many things during this time, pride in myself (even if it was only for a moment), extreme loneliness, extreme sadness, anger, yet also happiness in my decision, and also Sym and I have gotten even closer than before. I love that child dearly. I can't stop looking at her and think of all the good things from him and me.

I'm grateful for this angel in my life! Thank you God for intervening so long ago! Thank you for this incredible child!

XOXOXO
Thank you all for your comments!! You do mean so much to me!
Big hugs to you all!!!


Here's my new desk!