And that's why I'd make a horrible zombie

Last week, I was surfing my fb news-feed and saw where my A is for Awesome cousin tagged me in this random fill in the blank Zombie Apocalypse crew thing. You fill in this thing with the first 7 friends that show up on your profile. Well I go and look at where she tagged me. It put me down as "The first person in the group to die."
Aw I thought. That sucks! I thought for sure with my mad knitting skills I'd be able to survive the zombie apocalypse especially since I carry more needles than a heroine user. Surely my size 50's could take the head off some zombie quickly approaching me at limping speed. Assuming the zombie is limping that is.
So I started thinking what if I was to be turned into a zombie during the zombie apocalypse.
My luck I'd be wearing my glasses that day and I would somehow step on them or someone else would shattering them into a billion pieces.Ya'll don't know this unless you've met me in real life but I'm blind as a bat. If I'm not wearing eyecaps or glasses, I'm seeing nothing but blur. I can only see clearly 3 inches in front of me distance wise.  No I'm not far sighted. Far sighted people can see far away but not up close. I am near sighted. I can see up close and the farthest from me that I can see clearly is 3 inches. Sad huh?
So that's why I'd make a horrible zombie unless zombieism can correct nearsightedness I'm doomed to starve cause I can't see shit. Survivors of the ZA could easily creep past me if they move slow enough and stand behind a tree. Yep I would suck as a zombie. It would be horrible. I would be craving brains and end up attacking other zombies instead because I can't tell the fucking difference between human blur and zombie blur. man. See! Folks remember if you see me and you are a zombie turn around and limp the other way. I soo don't want to be known as the Cannibal Zombie.
That would suck. I'd lose all of my zombie friends. they wouldn't invite me to zombie parties where we'd play bobbing for brains. My luck I'd screw that one up too with my horrible cannibalistic ways.
I hear zombies are crap at knitting. I wonder how they are with crochet?